Kids & Consequences: Building SEL Through Roleplay

No, it’s not the name of some great work by Jane Austin or Leo Tolstoy. Nor is it the name of Road Dahl’s autobiography (missed opportunity there!). Rather, we’re taking a look at the power of consequences, also known as “Player Agency,” during gameplay and how it helps kids and teens practice social skills when playing Dungeons & Dragons.

Agents of Storytelling

Magical intercom flips on.
“Good morning, Dragons.”
“Good morning, Dungeon Master Charlie!”

Believe it or not, that was an early draft at a D&D crossover with Charlie’s Angels. Sadly, it never left the writers room. Can’t imagine why… Anyway! So what the heck even is “Player Agency?” And what does spycraft have to do with kids playing D&D? 

Well, in this case, agency refers to the concept that a player or character is the “agent of change” in their own story, that is, they pull their own strings and make their own choices. Of course, players are always making their own choices, and by extension so are their characters. But it’s the outcome of those choices that tell us if actual Player Agency has truly been achieved. It might be helpful to understand Player Agency by first looking at the opposite concept: Railroading. Railroading is when the story is following a pre-determined path and that regardless of the choices the characters (or players) make, the story still arrives at the same pre-determined location. Railroading isn’t all bad, sometimes it’s even necessary if your players are getting too far off track. Context matters and as always, it’s something best used in moderation.

To Choose Or Not To Choose

Let’s take a look at the following example. You, the player, have been presented with a choice: you can either show up to the Queen’s Coronation in disguise and sneak your way through the castle or you can attend as a guest and make an honest attempt at securing a private meeting with Her Majesty Queen Rosie III. When presented with those choices, and let’s be honest, a near infinite number of other potential options, what you the player decides and how you go about that choice is just the beginning of Player Agency. But what happens if no matter the choice you make, the Dungeon Master is planning to throw you into the castle dungeons anyway? Well then, all of that freedom of making a choice earlier has been tossed aside. Because at no point did the DM actually want to let your choices play out in the story organically, at least not in a way that wasn’t in their control.

I Wouldn’t Do That If I Were You

Here’s another example, one that often comes up when playing Dungeons & Dragons with young people. You’re in the Dungeon Master seat and one of your young heroes is shopping for “something really super awesome” at the local magic store and they decide that they simply cannot leave without stealing something. They make an attempt and either roll low or fail to succeed for other reasons and now the Level 20 retired-adventurer-turned shopkeeper is mad. The shopkeeper gives the young hero an opportunity to apologize, however, they instead dig their heels even deeper into their self-made mess and try to attack the shopkeeper. Now at this point, you the DM need to make a choice. Do you allow the not-so-rusty Arch Mage equipped with a Staff of the Magi to wipe the floor with your young hero? Or do you invent some kind of excuse or deus ex machina that presents the player with an opportunity to walk out with their character’s life still intact, maybe even their dignity? (doubtful but who knows!)

My advice to you is that the former option is often the better choice. Not only because it probably feels more authentic to your world but primarily because a young D&D player must experience the consequences of their actions. If they are going to commit to stealing or lying or even murdering, then make sure there are authentic and appropriate consequences for those actions, ones rooted in your world and that play out as part of the story you tell. Otherwise, you’re not playing Dungeons & Dragons, you’re playing a game with limits. And D&D is anything but limited.

Consequences Maketh Choices

Furthermore, a D&D player can’t truly develop their roleplaying skills unless they know the choices their character makes mean something. If no matter what they do, no matter how they approach the world, if the world doesn’t react to their choices then they will quickly lose interest. And that is what Player Agency means: giving your players the freedom to make choices, good or bad, smart or dumb, and letting the consequences of those choices, whatever they may be, drive the story forward. It’s not often easy to do, especially if you’re one of those Dungeon Masters who love crafting intricate plot devices or epic set pieces. But if you trust in your players and in your own storytelling skills, you’ll discover meaningful story beats that are 100% character driven and still hella epic.

The freedom to make choices and see the consequences of those actions play out is exactly the kind of social and moral exploration every young person should experience as part of their natural development. As infants and toddlers, we have the urge to test the limits of the world around us, led by our curiosity. It’s how we learn and grow. And it’s up to our parents and caregivers to supervise those curious urges and keep us safe from serious physical and emotional harm. To teach us necessary wisdom.

Dungeon Boss: The Radiator

I remember when I was about 6 or 7 (😏), I was staying at a cabin with my father and brothers. My siblings and I had been warned not to touch the radiator in the wall. Well dammit if I didn’t test that directive with my own finger and earn a nasty burn for it. It was painful, and ideally, I didn’t need to have been harmed. But if I was able to touch that radiator and not get hurt, then I wouldn’t have learned to heed my dad’s warning in the future, or that some cabin are old and stupid and have radiators without proper coverings.

Playing D&D is just like an exposed, hot radiator. Except you can’t actually get burned. Or get polymorphed into a cockroach for eternity by an angry archmage-turned-entrepreneur. D&D is the safe, contained alternative to real life where young people, or anyone still honing their social skills and emotional awareness, can practice making choices and experience the consequences of those choices. And that’s just a part of the awesome power of playing Dungeons & Dragons.